When the first videos of young white women in billowy dresses preparing meals for their husbands and children appeared on my social media, I felt confounded. I have no interest in content that romanticizes women’s roles as dutiful wives and mothers. And yet, I couldn’t scroll away. Something about what the internet calls a “trad wife” — short for “traditional wife” — intrigues and shocks me.
Though mostly only in their 20s, these women seem to believe homemaking, mothering, domesticity — and subservience to their husbands — are specifically feminine traits. They often reference their Christian faith and biblical imperatives to justify their chosen lifestyle.
Trad wife influencers have built massive followings on various platforms by sharing aesthetically pleasing content with both subtle and not-so-subtle anti-feminist undertones. A lot of times, their content gets engagement because it can be so polarizing.
Take viral Mormon trad wife Hannah Neeleman, known online as @ballerinafarm, for example. The Juilliard-trained influencer gave up a possible career in ballet after her now-husband wanted to get married after only three months of dating. Now, the mother of eight shares baking content from their Utah ranch to her 10 million followers.
Why is there a sudden surge of young women lured in by a patriarchal lifestyle that several waves of feminism have rebelled against for generations? It’s counterintuitive and retrograde — like turning back the clock to a time when women had fewer choices and even less freedom.
Women who choose traditional lifestyles because they find them liberating aren’t free from the trap of patriarchy.
A decade or so ago, a woman’s workplace achievements were heralded as “girl bossing.” The girl boss was a successful, entrepreneurial role model — and she made it look easy. But fatigue from corporate life, where women are regularly expected to deliver to a higher standard than their male colleagues, could explain why the call for a softer life feels so seductive.
Capitalism’s constant demand for productivity can burn anyone out, and yet women still take the bigger kick, with the gender wage gap and toxic work cultures dis- proportionately affecting them. A return to times when men were breadwinners while women served their homes seems like a sweet escape to a nostalgic and imaginary past.
More on Broadview:
- Patriarchy still binds the fates of women in China
- Is the ancient tradition of marriage worth saving?
- How Black women are navigating feminism through African spirituality
One has to consider whose cost this comes at, however, especially when confronted with the fact that these lifestyles show a malignant side of “choice feminism.” This type of feminism emphasizes that women’s choices are inherently liberating because they have the freedom to choose. But women who choose a traditional lifestyle because they find it liberating aren’t free from the trap of patriarchal systems — just look at Neeleman.
By choosing a trad wife lifestyle, she and other women are deliberately tangled up in misogynistic structures that give the illusion of freedom but actually take away from our collective liberation. With trad wife account followers in the millions, it’s more important than ever to shatter that illusion.
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Shanai Tanwar is a poet and journalist in Vancouver.
This article first appeared in Broadview’s April/May 2025 issue with the title “The False Freedom of Trad Wives.”
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Comments
Debra Leedham says:
As a Canadian citizen, I am presuming the term "trad wife" has risen in the United States. Although our culture has experienced the same brand of feminism, it has had no respect among feminists who developed after the United Nations declared 1975 the year of the woman. Feminism is therefore a growing edge among society, which means that we all must remain patient with people who experience it differently. There is no reason to believe that a more conservative view such as the trad wife is pushing society back to patriarchy.
Gary says:
"They often reference their Christian faith and biblical imperatives to justify their chosen lifestyle." You being a liberal writer, why do you think people need to justify their lifestyle? Do you justify yours?
"Why is there a sudden surge of young women lured in by a patriarchal lifestyle that several waves of feminism have rebelled against for generations?" Coming from a 20's something person, I guess you could say generations, but for most readers, we recall the "feminist movement" in the 1960's. (Although some will argue that it began in the 1910's, funny how two wars and a depression suppressed the movement) How is it that the "patriarchal" society worked fine until then, or during oppressed times?
Viewing life styles from an existentialist point would lead one to think women had fewer choices and even less freedom. From a Godly perspective, it enhances societal norms. There is less divorce, delinquency, crime and health issues, all which taxes society.
In my experience with "women in the workforce", I see women wanting the best of both worlds, and it centres on their egos. (Not that men don't do it, but it is certainly amplified by women.)
Personally, I think you have a very low opinion of women, thinking they get "deliberately tangled up in misogynistic structures that give the illusion of freedom." Are they that stupid?