How do we handle a difficult church council member?

Q: There’s someone on my church council who is really difficult to work with. They get stuck, go in circles and make meetings challenging for the rest of us. What should we do?

A: Churches run on volunteers, and good meetings are where good work gets done. Bad meetings, though, can take up time and energy and make life hard for everyone.

You may unsubscribe from any of our newsletters at any time.

Start by trying to understand why this person might be behaving the way they are. People usually volunteer for council because they really believe in the church’s purpose and want to see its ministry flourish and bless more people with God’s love. Sometimes that passion expresses itself in ways that others find challenging.

If the behaviour persists, someone trusted and caring like the chair should speak with the person with grace about how their actions are affecting others. Offer concrete examples of the behaviour and its impact; be clear, direct and kind. Acknowledge the good they do while being transparent about the conduct the council needs to embody and why.

More on Broadview:

In some cases, the time comes when we need to let people know that the ministry they are serving in is not right for them. God gives us many spiritual gifts, and the talents of leadership and governance are given to some and not others. Perhaps this person would be better suited to another ministry that better uses their unique spiritual gifts. Pray and help them to discern the right place to serve joyfully.

Conflict in the church is hard, but with direct and clear communication, courage, prayer and empathy, you can move forward in a way that’s good for everyone.

***

Rev. Mitchell Anderson is the lead minister at St. Paul’s United in Saskatoon. Do you have a query for Question Box? Email mitchelljanderson@gmail.com.

This article first appeared in Broadview’s March/April 2026 issue with the title “Council Member is Vexing Everyone.”

Will you help support United Church reporting?

Broadview is the only media organization dedicated to telling the stories of The United Church of Canada — its big decisions, perspectives and the faithful people and communities at its core. But this essential work depends on you.

Make a tax-deductible gift today — 100% of your donation goes directly to supporting United Church coverage.