Betty Sanguin (centre left) at her crossing-over ceremony at Churchill Park United in Winnipeg on March 9. (Photo courtesy Renée Sanguin)

Topics: Spirituality | Society

Manitoba’s first medically assisted death in a church was an ‘intimate’ ceremony

Betty Sanguin spent her last day with family and friends at Churchill Park United

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At around noon on March 9, Betty Sanguin arrived at her church, Churchill Park United in Winnipeg, on a stretcher.

“The moment we rolled her in … and sat her up in her recliner, she lit up like a Christmas tree,” Lynda Sanguin-Colpitts, one of Sanguin’s daughters, recalls. “I hadn’t seen that much life in her eyes, so much joy [in a long time]. And honestly I think part of it was just being in the church.”

But this was no ordinary church service. Sanguin chose to die in the sanctuary that day. 

Last spring, Sanguin was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). And when she decided to access medical assistance in dying (MAiD), she wanted the procedure to happen at her church.

Churchill Park United’s leadership team unanimously approved her request, and on March 9, the “crossing-over” ceremony took place in the church’s sanctuary. This was the first MAiD procedure to take place in a church in Manitoba.


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Sanguin could no longer talk, so she used a whiteboard to communicate. When she was settled in her recliner, she wrote: “Welcome to my special day. I love you all so much.”  

Sanguin’s children had worked hard to make the big space feel intimate. In the end, it was almost as if they were in her living room. There was a recliner for Sanguin to sit in, an area rug, a lamp, and a collection of family photos. Many of the quilts that Sanguin had made over the years were on display.  

The chairs were set up in what Renée Sanguin, another one of her daughters, described as a “circle of care.” The six chairs immediately surrounding Betty Sanguin were for her six children; the next tier was for husbands, wives and grandchildren; and the final tier was for friends. 

During the ceremony, two of her grandchildren sang “Let Your Light Shine on Me” and everyone joined in for “How Great Thou Art.” She waved her arms along to the music. She had prepared a playlist for the event, which was mostly gospel music — a lifelong love of hers.

“There was an opportunity for every single person who wanted to to come and hold her hand and tell her they loved her and say goodbye,” says Renée Sanguin. “It was very touching and very intimate.”

Betty Sanguin. (Photo courtesy Renée Sanguin)

Afterwards, the minister of Churchill Park United, Rev. Dawn Rolke, offered a blessing. Each of Betty Sanguin’s six children placed their hands on her as Rolke invited her to go in peace.

Eventually, everyone was asked to leave the sanctuary and Betty Sanguin met with the MAiD team. After giving her final consent, the procedure took place. Her six children returned to the sanctuary and stayed with her until the end.

“That part was harder,” said Sanguin-Colpitts. “We just stood around her and we cried, we laughed, we did everything.”

 She and Renée Sanguin describe their mom as a courageous, smart, and outspoken woman who felt called to serve others. She was very involved at Oak Table, which serves meals and provides hospitality for folks struggling in Winnipeg.

“I think that’s [how] I think of her most, just as that loving, giving person, who wanted to just make everybody’s life bright, perfect, and helping any and every way that she could,” Sanguin-Colpitts says. 

She was constantly asking questions and looking for answers — especially in her faith. Rolke recalled that during after-worship discussions, Betty Sanguin asked the hard questions. Rolke describes her as ​​having a “growing, changing spirituality; her faith was feisty, fierce and passionate, like Betty herself.”

The decision to end her life was not an easy one. “She grappled with her faith … How do we know when our soul is ready? Will [her] soul be ready to cross over?” Renée Sanguin says.


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 But she says she thinks it was important that her mother could choose to leave this world on her own terms.  

“As a human being, your voice and your choices are what matter in the end. And you don’t have to feel shame and you get to ask for what you want. You get to go out the way you want to go out,” Renée Sanguin says. 

While much of the response to the crossing-over ceremony has been positive, there have been exceptions. Rolke has received messages telling her that Churchill Park United should close their doors and that they should be ashamed of their actions. What Rolke finds hard to describe to these critics is “the sense of ‘rightness’” and the overwhelming presence of spirit during the ceremony.

Betty Sanguin (left) and her daughters Renée Sanguin (centre) and Lynda Sanguin-Colpitts (right). (Photo courtesy Renée Sanguin)

She was also surprised that many critics were most offended by the procedure taking place in the church, instead of the procedure itself. “It’s good for any congregation to discern: What do we believe about our space? Is it more sacred than other spaces? What is the purpose of the sanctuary?” she says. “Who is allowed in it, and what can happen in it? For other congregations asked to consider a service of crossing-over, knowing their congregation’s position on their space will be quite important.”

More than a month after her mother’s death, Sanguin-Colpitts reflects on the experience: “Was it any less sad? No. Was it any less tragic? No,” she says. “Was it any less heartbreaking? No. But was it the most beautiful and humane and compassionate way to die? Yes.”

***

Emily Standfield is an editorial intern at Broadview.


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  • says:

    So beautiful. When many people die alone, die in care homes or in hospitals, Betty's passing was full of love in a place she loved. What more could we ask for at the end of our earthly days? If someone is opposed to MAID, my suggestion to them is that it is their choice, just as it was Betty's choice. Love to her family.

    Replies

    • says:

      Although mixed in my thoughts to MAID, the term softens the word "Euthanasia".
      My only concern of your comment was "it is their choice".
      It is also one's choice to rape or kill someone, are you opposed to it? (Although this is not my suggestion)
      As mentioned in another article "death" is not beautiful to most people. Sadly we live in a fallen world, where most people don't know what happens after death.

  • says:

    What an amazingly delightful ‘crossing over.’ My dear friend chose to stay at home despite being seriously Ill and spent his final week having his children, step children, close friends and family nearby. We had a final chat with him on the evening of his passing and the peace that surrounded him during his final moments was beautiful. His control of those final days was a blessing.

  • says:

    Churches mean nothing to me.
    She is braver than I would be.....

  • says:

    In my vocation as a psychotherapist, I remain astounded at the toll the lack of community is taking on our individual and collective mental health.

    As a pastor in the United Church I am always blessed when I read of church finding a way, yet again. to stem that tide.

    As St Francis said - It is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Together we discern. Together we grieve in the midst of hard and dignifying choices. Together we live. God is with us. We are not alone.

    Thanks be to God. Thanks be to this community of faith.

    Rev Eric Lukacs
    Ottawa

    Replies

    • says:

      Thank you🤗

    • says:

      But it is Jesus Christ who says "...whoever believes in Him (Jesus, God's only Son) should not perish but have eternal life..." (John 3:16) starting NOW not with physical death!

  • says:

    What kind of Satanic church is it?

    Replies

    • says:

      Not Satanic. Christian. The United Church is Canada's largest Protestant denomination.

    • says:

      This is not a church of God do to everything about it goes against God and His word.

  • says:

    As a spouse of a MAiD patient, I found this a beautiful way to celebrate the life of a faithful person. To be surrounded by loved ones and take the stigma of death away. To have that one last day together with family and friends and to share the experience together and take the fear away.

  • says:

    "We hope you found this Broadview article engaging. "

    Actually, I found it disgusting.

  • says:

    sub-human evil

  • says:

    I think this is absolutely appalling. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane he said, "Let your will be done, not mine. So I would imagine when she arrived in front of him, he might say, "Why are you here. I haven't called for you. You made that decision on your own. He also said, pick up your cross and follow me. Euthanasia is a sin and should not be glorified.

    Replies

    • says:

      Truth!

  • says:

    I think this is a beautiful story. And a blessing to have it in your church. Gives it much more meaning and serenity.

  • says:

    you do of course understand the natural progression of this is the state will order one's death based on their ability to contribute to the collective and when the individual is no longer able to produce for the collective it will become mandatory to cross over.............coming to a church near you.

  • says:

    This thoroughly engaging article is but one of the many examples of why our household appreciates Broadview Magazine as a meaningful Christian voice and as a reminder that the whole of the Christian faith is not summed up nor properly represented by far-right fundamentalism and its pallor of 'Christian' nationalism. / May you thrive. / fyi; we are not UCC members; our household is resubscribing].

  • says:

    Life is not ours from the beginning. It is a gift from God and a loan. We are not at all instructed in Scripture to take our own lives. So I'm sorry to read this, I think it is a sad day to hear how far people are from our holy God and his truth.