Nearly 40 municipalities across Canada, including Calgary, Regina, Saskatoon, Ottawa and Toronto, have proclaimed December to be Christian Heritage Month. It’s part of a national campaign launched by the Christian Music Festival (read its faith statement here) to have the month proclaimed at municipal, provincial and national levels. The organization says that Christian contributions to Canada have often been overshadowed and that the aim of the campaign is to ensure that Christians receive the same recognition as other religions. That’s despite the fact that four of Canada’s 12 statutory holidays honour the Christian festivals of Christmas and Easter. The remaining eight days are secular. News of the campaign prompted author and humourist Douglas Tindal to craft this satirical offering.
Letter from East Headscratch
Dear Editor,
Well, town council is all riled up again here in East Headscratch, and it’s a darn shame because we only just got over the Great Fluoride Scare, and some tempers are still a bit raw from the Letting People Ride Bicycles Debacle.
So it was unfortunate that the People Who Won’t Be Denied Singing Christmas Carols chose this unsettled time to ask the town to proclaim December as Christian Heritage Month. I watched the proceedings from the citizens gallery, and I can tell you it was fair frothin’.
Councillor Marylove was all for the Proclamation. Said it was high time Christians got a month to themselves just like all the other faiths.
Councillor Soundbite countered that Christian Heritage is a political party, not a month, and said the town had no mandate to mess in partisan politics.
The representative from People Who Won’t Be Denied Singing Christmas Carols, Mrs. Agnes Pureblood, clarified that the organization had no connection with the Christian Heritage Party, none at all, absolutely none, to the best of her knowledge.
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Councillor Trueblast wondered if the Proclamation would set a dangerous precedent. The town clerk assured him proclamations had no force of any kind and the town had never done anything to mark the 73 it had already proclaimed.
Councillor Twicetold said that was redundant and repetitive. Of course a Proclamation was proclaimed. What else could it be? Mayor Evenkeel said people should keep their eyes on the main point and discuss it in a non-sectarian Christian manner.
“This proclamation is vitally important so that Christians have a space to come together and celebrate their unity,” Mrs. Pureblood insisted. Councillor Clearview said she thought that’s what churches were for. Councillor Soundbite asked why Christians needed all those different churches if what they wanted to celebrate was unity.
Mrs. Pureblood said 37 Canadian municipalities had already made the proclamation, including Toronto. Councillor Marylove said she’d continue to support it anyway.
Councillor Tomorrow suggested it might be best to defer this item until council had the benefit of a staff report. Mayor Evenkeel pointed out the hardworking staff were already burdened with preparations for decorating the Christmas tree in the town square.
Councillor Farsight said the proclamation was only a first step. The real goal was to parlay the Christian Heritage Month into a Christian Heritage Minute, to be played on television for all the folks who still watch it. Councillor Clearview pointed out that Heritage Minutes also have a YouTube channel.
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Councillor Sellmore said, speaking for the Small Business Association, he supported the proclamation because November sales were below average. “Christmas doesn’t seem to have quite the buying power it once did,” he said. “Maybe this Proclamation can help restore some of that commercial spirit.”
Mayor Evenkeel advised council this item had already exceeded the time allotted for it and noted that they had a very full agenda, with the purchase of new Christmas decorations for the town hall still ahead.
Councillor Tomorrow moved to defer the item to the next meeting, which passed with three votes in favour, two against, and four abstentions.
I could see Pastor Redemption shaking his head sadly at the turn of events. “What will this mean for you?” I asked.
A tear ran down his cheek. “Oh, I guess we’ll just have to celebrate Christmas as usual,” he said bravely.
***
Douglas Tindal lives in Haliburton, Ont. He is the author of Tales from Wine on the Porch, which he would like you to know makes an excellent Christmas gift.
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