I’ve spent far too many years overcomplicating my Lenten journey, as though I were training for the spiritual Olympics. “No pain, no gain” was my motto. One year, I set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. intending to spend an hour in centring prayer. In reality, I woke up only to take a nap.

Another year, I went on a silent retreat during Holy Week hoping to learn more about Jesus’ suffering. Instead, I discovered that I am not above lying to nuns and sneaking into the woods to phone a friend.

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Two degrees, multiple courses and many years of ministry later, my spiritual breakthrough came unexpectedly from Oprah Winfrey. In a 2023 conversation with Michelle Obama, Winfrey recounted inviting Obama to brunch and telling her to bring a few close friends. Expecting one or two extra people, she was surprised when Obama RSVP’d for 12. Oprah joked that the only person she knew with 12 close friends was Jesus — and even then, one betrayed him.

That conversation helped me see friendship as an overlooked miracle of the Christian story. Reframing my Lenten journey through that lens — rather than a test of achievement — has revolutionized my spiritual practice.

Two years ago, this epiphany deepened when my best friend died on Ash Wednesday. We were soul sisters who often shared in spiritual practices together. She touched every part of my life, transforming it for the better.

After she died, my life and my Lent shifted as I found new ways to mark, celebrate and continue her legacy. Because she loved all God’s creatures, my son and I would rescue earthworms after each rainfall. Her close relationship with our mutual friend Jesus made me want to deepen my own.

I now no longer feel like I’m competing for a spiritual gold medal. Instead, I’m nurturing a relationship with a God who already loves me. Instead of torturing myself with disciplines that drain me, I am embracing the spiritual practices that nourish me.

These days, my favourite practice is prayer prompts. Whenever I notice a “glitch in the matrix” — something odd, beautiful or coincidental, like a wildflower growing from a crack in the concrete or the time matching up with the date — I stop to pray. In these simple moments, I get impromptu quality time with my dearest friend.

When discerning new spiritual practices, I now ask how each one impacts my relationship with Christ and transforms my day-to-day relationships with others. Does this practice help me be a better friend — to my neighbour, to Creation, to my Creator? All of this has led me to a far greater motto: quality over quantity.

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How to …

Brainstorm some possible prayer prompts. These should be things from everyday life, like the colour purple or the feel of water.
Determine a few different prayers or actions you can practise when you encounter your prayer prompt. Remember that this is meant to be private, quality time between you and your Creator — not a public display of piety.
Reflect on how these prompts are working for you and add more as you feel comfortable.

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Rev. Alydia Smith works at the United Church’s General Council office supporting worship and faith formation ministries.

This story first appeared in Broadview’s March/April 2026 issue with the title “Devotions in prayer prompts.”